Ben Hansen
5 minutes later saw them lounging in their couch back at headquarters, waiting for their client to turn up. Then, because I have no way to make this more interesting, he did.
"So how did I do it?" he asked.
"You didn't. You got Mr. Dellabungy to do it for you." Hugh said.
"See, we have proof," Ben said, holding up the monogrammed briefcase.
"Ooh, you're good. Here's your pay." The man gave them the exhorbitant amount of money that he'd promised them.
"Oh, by the way, we've taken the liberty of asking some people to take you on holiday," Ben added as three men in white coats came in and put the nut in a straitjacket. They took him out kicking and screaming. One of them stayed long enough to take Ben and Hugh's measurements and left.
"And that's the end of that mystery," Hugh said, rubbing his hands together in evil glee.
"Yeah, but... it was stupid," Ben replied. "How about next time we have a decent case?"
"Deal."
THE END
Showing posts with label 02 - Ravire Road Robbed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 02 - Ravire Road Robbed. Show all posts
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter IX
Hugh Hamilton
"Nothing. Turns out none of the banks have been robbed."
"That's interesting," said Ben slowly.
"It means that we've been hired by another nut and we probably won't get paid."
"That's interesting but bad."
"Very."
"But are you sure we won't get paid?" asked Ben slowly.
"Pretty sure," said Hugh. "And even if he does have money, we can't solve a fictional case."
"Oh, I dunno," said Ben. "Maybe we can."
"You mean inventing a wild solution and hoping he buys it?"
"Yeah."
"Oh well, let's go."
"Nothing. Turns out none of the banks have been robbed."
"That's interesting," said Ben slowly.
"It means that we've been hired by another nut and we probably won't get paid."
"That's interesting but bad."
"Very."
"But are you sure we won't get paid?" asked Ben slowly.
"Pretty sure," said Hugh. "And even if he does have money, we can't solve a fictional case."
"Oh, I dunno," said Ben. "Maybe we can."
"You mean inventing a wild solution and hoping he buys it?"
"Yeah."
"Oh well, let's go."
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter VIII
Ben Hansen
After three hours of exhaustive searching, Ben and Hugh met up at the other end of Ravire Road.
"What did you find?" Hugh asked Ben.
"Well, I found this monogrammed briefcase in a dumpster," Ben said, holding up a briefcase which read "Monsieur Dellabungy."
"What is it with you and monogrammed briefcases in dumpsters?" Hugh asked.
"Hey, it helps to fill up an empty dumpster. What can I say?"
"You're an idiot."
"Oh yeah? Well, what did YOU FIND?"
After three hours of exhaustive searching, Ben and Hugh met up at the other end of Ravire Road.
"What did you find?" Hugh asked Ben.
"Well, I found this monogrammed briefcase in a dumpster," Ben said, holding up a briefcase which read "Monsieur Dellabungy."
"What is it with you and monogrammed briefcases in dumpsters?" Hugh asked.
"Hey, it helps to fill up an empty dumpster. What can I say?"
"You're an idiot."
"Oh yeah? Well, what did YOU FIND?"
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter VII
Hugh Hamilton
"Hey Ben!"
"Yes?"
"How's it going on your side?"
"I haven't started yet."
"Neither have I."
"But I was about to."
"I get the hint."
"Do you? That's unusual."
"It is."
"Okay, I think it's bank time now."
"Is it?"
"Stop this dialogue-centric procrastination."
"I will if you will."
"Deal."
"Hey Ben!"
"Yes?"
"How's it going on your side?"
"I haven't started yet."
"Neither have I."
"But I was about to."
"I get the hint."
"Do you? That's unusual."
"It is."
"Okay, I think it's bank time now."
"Is it?"
"Stop this dialogue-centric procrastination."
"I will if you will."
"Deal."
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter VI
Ben Hansen
"Well, we could look at all the crime scenes."
"That's ingenious Ben! How I was lucky enough to be able to walk in your shadow, I'll never know."
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyep anyway, I'll take all the banks on the left, you take all the banks on the right and we'll look over our clues at the other end of the street."
"Okay then."
"Well, we could look at all the crime scenes."
"That's ingenious Ben! How I was lucky enough to be able to walk in your shadow, I'll never know."
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyep anyway, I'll take all the banks on the left, you take all the banks on the right and we'll look over our clues at the other end of the street."
"Okay then."
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter V
Hugh Hamilton
"Ben?"
"Yes, Hugh?"
"This is Ravire Road."
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"So you can read."
"Indeed I can."
"That's a relief."
"Why?"
"Because I have nothing else to say."
"Ben?"
"Yes, Hugh?"
"This is Ravire Road."
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"So you can read."
"Indeed I can."
"That's a relief."
"Why?"
"Because I have nothing else to say."
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter IV
Ben Hansen
"So, where do we start?" asked Hugh as they hailed a cab.
"Call me crazy -" began Ben.
"You're crazy," said Hugh, and laughed at what he considered his best joke so far. Ben silently agreed, and wished it wasn't true.
"Um, yes, anyway, I think we should begin at Ravire Road where the robberies actually HAPPENED."
"What, you're not going to jump out of the car?"
"There's no point, we know who the robber is and where the robberies happened. Unless I landed next to a piece of paper with 'MY PLAN' written on it, it wouldn't help."
"Suit yourself," said Hugh as the car turned in to Ravire Road.
"So, where do we start?" asked Hugh as they hailed a cab.
"Call me crazy -" began Ben.
"You're crazy," said Hugh, and laughed at what he considered his best joke so far. Ben silently agreed, and wished it wasn't true.
"Um, yes, anyway, I think we should begin at Ravire Road where the robberies actually HAPPENED."
"What, you're not going to jump out of the car?"
"There's no point, we know who the robber is and where the robberies happened. Unless I landed next to a piece of paper with 'MY PLAN' written on it, it wouldn't help."
"Suit yourself," said Hugh as the car turned in to Ravire Road.
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter III
Hugh Hamilton
"Wait," said Hugh as a thought struck him on the head, "why are you hiring us? I mean, who are you to hire us? Why is it in your interest? Why aren't the police taking care of it?"
The man backed away from the questions and carefully paced himself.
"I am," he began slowly, "Francis Cartwheel. The person responsible for the Great Ravire Road Robbery."
Hugh and Ben attempted a gasp.
"That is why I didn't go to the police. Sure, they are investigating, but they won't succeed."
"Why?" said Hugh and Ben.
"Why? Well, basically they are all corrupt."
"Every one?" asked Ben.
"Every one. And they won't even want to solve this case. They will undoubtedly use it a pretence for sneaking around in snooker bars. The longer it's open, the better for them."
"Right," said Hugh, "but why are you hiring us to catch you?"
"I'm not hiring you to catch me, I'm hiring you to work out how I did it."
"Why?" asked Ben.
"I'm a bit of an egomaniac, you see."
"Go on," said Hugh.
"And I want to find out if it is possible for anyone to solve the mystery. And to see if they can actually acquire evidence to link the robbery to me."
"So you're a nut," said Ben under his breath.
"Yes. Indeed I am. But I am one who can pay, unlike your last client."
"What's stopping us from turning you in though?" asked Hugh.
"Evidence, money and the fact that you don't care."
"You know us well," said Ben.
"Is there any chance," said Hugh, "of this case spiralling out of control, leading us to uncover something big?"
"Yes," said Francis slowly.
"Good," said Hugh. "We'll take it."
"Wait," said Hugh as a thought struck him on the head, "why are you hiring us? I mean, who are you to hire us? Why is it in your interest? Why aren't the police taking care of it?"
The man backed away from the questions and carefully paced himself.
"I am," he began slowly, "Francis Cartwheel. The person responsible for the Great Ravire Road Robbery."
Hugh and Ben attempted a gasp.
"That is why I didn't go to the police. Sure, they are investigating, but they won't succeed."
"Why?" said Hugh and Ben.
"Why? Well, basically they are all corrupt."
"Every one?" asked Ben.
"Every one. And they won't even want to solve this case. They will undoubtedly use it a pretence for sneaking around in snooker bars. The longer it's open, the better for them."
"Right," said Hugh, "but why are you hiring us to catch you?"
"I'm not hiring you to catch me, I'm hiring you to work out how I did it."
"Why?" asked Ben.
"I'm a bit of an egomaniac, you see."
"Go on," said Hugh.
"And I want to find out if it is possible for anyone to solve the mystery. And to see if they can actually acquire evidence to link the robbery to me."
"So you're a nut," said Ben under his breath.
"Yes. Indeed I am. But I am one who can pay, unlike your last client."
"What's stopping us from turning you in though?" asked Hugh.
"Evidence, money and the fact that you don't care."
"You know us well," said Ben.
"Is there any chance," said Hugh, "of this case spiralling out of control, leading us to uncover something big?"
"Yes," said Francis slowly.
"Good," said Hugh. "We'll take it."
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter II
Ben Hansen
"I'm hiring you because I heard you're cheap. Will $25 do?"
Ben and Hugh looked at each other.
"No," Hugh responded eventually. "It'll cost us that much to bribe one person, that's not nearly enough."
"Fair enough. How about $2500?"
"Better," Ben said, unconsciously rubbing his hands together. "That much, each."
"Deal!" the man said. Ben and Hugh snickered unnecessarily.
"I'm hiring you because I heard you're cheap. Will $25 do?"
Ben and Hugh looked at each other.
"No," Hugh responded eventually. "It'll cost us that much to bribe one person, that's not nearly enough."
"Fair enough. How about $2500?"
"Better," Ben said, unconsciously rubbing his hands together. "That much, each."
"Deal!" the man said. Ben and Hugh snickered unnecessarily.
Ravire Road Robbed: Chapter I
Hugh Hamilton
A musty hot stench soared across the city sky, slipping and sliding through air particles and lazy urban breezes towards its long sought after destination.
"My," said Ben sarcastically, "what a delightful musty hot stench."
"Yes," agreed Hugh, playing along with the thinly veiled sarcasm. "Almost refreshing."
Ben decided against pushing the tedium any further and lapsed back into his chair. Hugh continued slurping the long gone remains of his Solo™ and deciding whether or not he should kill a fly that was quietly crawling past the predictably Venetian blinds. Eventually he decided the fly didn't deserve to die and began wording a joke about Venusian blinds in his head.
"Ben, on Venus..."
Unfortunately Ben never heard what happened on Venus for at that moment a sharp succession of knocks wafted into their ears, coming, they suspected, from somewhere in the vicinity of the door.
"I'll get it," said Ben rising to his feet.
Hugh followed him and watched, vulgarities aside, the careful turning and pulling required to operate the door.
"Yes?" said Ben to the trenchcoat with the man inside it.
"Are you Ben and Hugh from Ben and Hugh's famous detective agency?"
"No," said Ben coolly. "We're Ben and Hugh from Ben and Hugh's unpublicised and mediocre detective agency."
"Ah good. Even better," said the man.
"Do come in," said Ben, showing him the way unnecessarily.
They walked back into the stuffy mess of the office and made themselves comfortable.
"So…" said Hugh in an attempt to prompt explanation.
The man got the hint.
"Do I have a case for you!"
Hugh and Ben exchanged glances.
"Well," said Ben. "Spit it out"
The man made a lame spitting noise then continued.
"Ravire Road Robbed," he said with his hands indicating a newspaper headline.
He saw the confused expressions on Hugh and Ben's faces and opened up his briefcase.
"Here," he said, handing them a folded up newspaper.
"I don't get it," said Hugh. "Was the whole street robbed or just one house?"
"The whole street," said the man triumphantly. "And they weren't houses, they were all banks."
"A whole street of banks?" said Ben cynically.
"Yes," said the man. "'The Great Banks of Ravire Road'. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it."
"So am I," said Ben.
"But the real mystery," continued the man, "is how it happened."
He paused for effect then made the headline gesture again.
"11am Wednesday. Broad daylight. All the money is there. 11:25am.The banks discover their vaults are empty. No sign of a break in. Security cameras saw nothing. Guards saw nothing."
"Ah," said Hugh, "one of these."
"Indeed," said the man.
Ben leaned over to Hugh conspiratorially.
"Should we take the case?"
"I dunno," said Hugh doubtfully. "It's not like we have the greatest track record in this department. We still don't know how Craper got the Ming Poodle from that room."
"Shush," said Ben hurriedly, then turned back to the man. "Why are you hiring us and how much?"
A musty hot stench soared across the city sky, slipping and sliding through air particles and lazy urban breezes towards its long sought after destination.
"My," said Ben sarcastically, "what a delightful musty hot stench."
"Yes," agreed Hugh, playing along with the thinly veiled sarcasm. "Almost refreshing."
Ben decided against pushing the tedium any further and lapsed back into his chair. Hugh continued slurping the long gone remains of his Solo™ and deciding whether or not he should kill a fly that was quietly crawling past the predictably Venetian blinds. Eventually he decided the fly didn't deserve to die and began wording a joke about Venusian blinds in his head.
"Ben, on Venus..."
Unfortunately Ben never heard what happened on Venus for at that moment a sharp succession of knocks wafted into their ears, coming, they suspected, from somewhere in the vicinity of the door.
"I'll get it," said Ben rising to his feet.
Hugh followed him and watched, vulgarities aside, the careful turning and pulling required to operate the door.
"Yes?" said Ben to the trenchcoat with the man inside it.
"Are you Ben and Hugh from Ben and Hugh's famous detective agency?"
"No," said Ben coolly. "We're Ben and Hugh from Ben and Hugh's unpublicised and mediocre detective agency."
"Ah good. Even better," said the man.
"Do come in," said Ben, showing him the way unnecessarily.
They walked back into the stuffy mess of the office and made themselves comfortable.
"So…" said Hugh in an attempt to prompt explanation.
The man got the hint.
"Do I have a case for you!"
Hugh and Ben exchanged glances.
"Well," said Ben. "Spit it out"
The man made a lame spitting noise then continued.
"Ravire Road Robbed," he said with his hands indicating a newspaper headline.
He saw the confused expressions on Hugh and Ben's faces and opened up his briefcase.
"Here," he said, handing them a folded up newspaper.
"I don't get it," said Hugh. "Was the whole street robbed or just one house?"
"The whole street," said the man triumphantly. "And they weren't houses, they were all banks."
"A whole street of banks?" said Ben cynically.
"Yes," said the man. "'The Great Banks of Ravire Road'. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it."
"So am I," said Ben.
"But the real mystery," continued the man, "is how it happened."
He paused for effect then made the headline gesture again.
"11am Wednesday. Broad daylight. All the money is there. 11:25am.The banks discover their vaults are empty. No sign of a break in. Security cameras saw nothing. Guards saw nothing."
"Ah," said Hugh, "one of these."
"Indeed," said the man.
Ben leaned over to Hugh conspiratorially.
"Should we take the case?"
"I dunno," said Hugh doubtfully. "It's not like we have the greatest track record in this department. We still don't know how Craper got the Ming Poodle from that room."
"Shush," said Ben hurriedly, then turned back to the man. "Why are you hiring us and how much?"
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