The Dead Monkey: Chapter XII

Hugh Hamilton

Daylight awoke begrudgingly and kicked its abnormally comfortable, cratered second face into obscurity for some precious, yet needless rest until the stars once more groaned into view. Our protagonists on the other hand, didn't open their small, insignificant eye-lids until local time chimed midday into existence. They met each other on the way to their shared destination and exchanged a few useless words of fate and coincidence before arriving without a kettle of fuss at the door to their office. After about ten minutes, they succeeded in opening the door, and blamed the delay on the scarce amount of sleep they had achieved the previous night.
"An important breakfast meeting, I suppose," was Grace's greeting as they stumbled towards the desk.
They looked up with heavy set eyes and blurted out a series of unconvincing and thoroughly contradictory excuses.
"What is it you wanted anyway?" asked Ben after the lies melted.
"Well," began Grace with a clarity and confidence that betrayed her monosyllabic and weary persona of the previous night, "it's about your current case — I have some important information."
"Yes?" prompted Ben.
"Can you screw me?" Hugh anticipated inaudibly.
"I have the opal you seek," she finally revealed.
"Yes!" Hugh cried before suddenly realising that his prediction wasn't reality.
Ben and Grace exchanged confusion whilst Hugh glowed with jealousy at their communication.
"So you have the opal?" Ben asked.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because some strange man hocked it to me at a pawn shop."
"You work in a porn shop?" blabbed a half deflated, half excited Hugh.
"Yes, I got a job behind the counter."
"What, and then you'd work your way up to the booths?" asked Hugh.
"What are you talking about?" said a suitably confused Grace.
"The porn shop."
"There aren't any booths at the pawn sh... Oh." she laughed.
"What?" said Hugh.
"P-A-W-N," she clarified.
"Oh. Ha," Hugh murmured. "I thought 'hocked it to me' was some new sexual euphemism.”
Ben didn't share the joke.
"Can we get on with it?" he said impatiently.
"Yes, anyway," Grace began, "there's something else as well."
Ben made an expectant face.
"Will you marry me?" anticipated Hugh once more, his lust considerably cooled.
"I want to make a deal with you," said Grace.
"Yes!" screamed Hugh again.
"Tell the couple that you never found the opal," she continued, ignoring Hugh, "and I'll give you 300 dollars."
"Hmm…" Ben mulled briefly. "All right, it's only the monkey murderer they want anyway."
"Yes!" said Hugh.
And so money was exchanged. Ben took his share and placed it privately in his wallet.
"Are you sure it was only 25 dollars?" Hugh asked suspiciously.
"Yes," confirmed Ben.
"Why did you accept the deal at such a low price?"
"I'm very generous."
"But of course."
Ben excused himself and went to the toilet.
"You know I heard what you said last night," Grace said as the door slammed.
"Huh?" said Hugh, startled.
"About sleeping here…"
"Oh… Ha, ha. Funny wasn't it?" Hugh laughed nervously.
"Indeed it was. I'll take you up on it though."
"What?" Hugh's face went jet red.
Grace laughed.
"Ah, you're joking."
Grace nodded ambiguously and left the office.