Hugh Hamilton
And so off they went to explore their fresh, exciting cases: Hugh to a nearby racquetball course, Ben to the couple's small but cosy house on a nameless main street. Before Hugh actually entered the court though, he decided it would be appropriate to acquire a drink of sorts but was torn between a steaming coffee on the go and a cool can of Solo™. Thanks to the recent chalk incident, he wisely chose the latter.
"Hi," he said to the tired-eyed employee. "I'd like a court please."
"Okay, that will be ten dollars an hour. Are you a member?"
"No."
"Then you have to pay a twenty dollar non-member fee. Would you like to become a member?"
"Um, maybe… how much is it?"
"Twenty dollars."
"What are the benefits?"
"You don't have to pay the twenty dollar non-member fee."
"Oh, right. Um, is this only one payment?"
"No, members have to pay the fee every time they come here."
"How much is it an hour for a member?"
"Fifteen dollars."
"But that's more expensive then a non-member."
"Well of course; non-members don't get the membership benefits."
"But the only benefit of being a member is that you don't pay the twenty dollar non-member fee, and that's cancelled out by the fact that you have to pay a twenty dollar membership fee."
"Yeah but if we didn't cancel out the non-membership fee for members, then you'd have to pay forty dollars."
"Just give me a court — I don't want to be member."
"Okay, sir."
Eventually Hugh made it onto a squash court and was just about to start a solo game when it occurred to him that the husband might not be there today and that he'd just wasted twenty-five dollars. His fears were soon unfounded though — he saw his man a few courts down sitting on a bench. But something else occurred to him: perhaps it wouldn’t be wise to be seen by the man who had hired them that very morning. He hid beneath a towel and headed for the bathroom.
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