Hugh Hamilton
"Alright, I take it back," said the bartender. "It's got a whole 5% lemon juice in it. It must be classy."
"Hey, Lemon is sour."
"Is it? I'm glad we had this highly educational conversation, but the fact of the matter is that it is factory filth."
"Factory Filth?"
"Yes. Factory Filth™."
"Solo™ is made from hand picked lemons from the best lemon trees in all the world. The fact that they only uses 5% lemon juice is because the lemons are so good, they only need that much. It would be over powering at 7 or even 6%."
"What about the other 95%?"
"Pure spring water with a hint of cane sugar."
"Of course."
"Glad that is settled."
"Me too. Please excuse me, I have to contact that kind old multi million dollar corporation Schweps™." (Spelling may vary.)
"Hey, they only make millions because Solo™ is so fantastic."
"Right," said the bartender, disappearing down a convenient cellar.
Hugh, satisfied in the glory of an argument well-won, decided to actually begin his investigation.
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