Ben Hansen
"It all started thirty years ago, in 'Nam," Tom said.
"You already tried the Apocalypse Now thing, remember?"
"Did I say 'the horror?'"
"No. Please don't." Because I am god in this thread and control everybody's actions, Tom actually shut up. "Now, Craper."
"Okay. I was ten years old at the time. Then I put a coin in this wish-granting machine and wished I was big."
"That's Big. Do you actually know Craper or are you just wasting my time?"
"A little of column A, a little of column B."
"That's my line, dammit."
"And you stole it from the Simpsons."
"DO YOU KNOW CRAPER?!"
"Yes."
"HOW, DAMMIT!"
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