The Secret of Suriname: Chapter VIII

Ben Hansen

Much to the duo's surprise and relief, the Germans were not in fact faux. They weren't even recognisable to Ben or Hugh. In fact, neither of them could recall having ever seen quite as much leather in one place either, come to that, expensive furniture included.

The non-faux, nouveaux Germans had fortunately chosen to walk away from the dumpster in the opposite direction, leaving Ben and Hugh free to stagger after them in the comfort that comes with being ignored. From this angle, they couldn't see much of their quarry but elaborately coiffed hair, expensive-looking black coats and just a hint of nihilism.

“You're kidding,” Hugh griped to Ben as they wandered along, the latter fiddling with a broken lampshade he'd picked off the ground on a whim. “We're going from German swingers to German expressionist artists?”
“What do you mean?”

“Well, I'm led to believe there are normal Germans out there. How is it we only happen across the stereotypical extremes, sex-crazed lunatics and style-obsessed neohipsters?”

“Perhaps we're just lucky?” Ben ventured, idly hanging his lampshade on an ajar door as the two passed it by.

“I bet they even listen to techno,” Hugh muttered to himself as they continued.

The Germans had at this point reached the other end of the alley and decided to turn left. Hugh and Ben took advantage of their natural contrast to peer around the corner together, one leaning over the other.

“It seems they came from that building on the right,” Ben observed.
“What, the one they just went into now? How observant.”

“Fine. Did you notice how they'd had a long-standing connection with the Russian Mafia?”

“I, uh. No.” Hugh was genuinely impressed. “How could you tell?”

“Well, they. Um. Honestly, I was just guessing wildly.”

“Oh.” Hugh deflated a little. “You're not allowed to talk any more.”

Ben didn't reply, so it seemed fair to say he'd got the point.

The two shortly discovered that the Germans had quite impressive eyesight, possibly augmented by their unnaturally angled and tinted sunglasses, mostly by way of somebody inside the relevant building double-taking before staring at them, starting to shout while pointing at them and gesticulating wildly, and a flurry of motion occurring inside the building for a couple of minutes before the place became a little too still.

“Do you think that means they destroyed everything useful and ran away?” Ben conjectured.

Hugh shot his heterosexual partner a dark look before taking the initiative and initiating the pair's quick trot towards the door.